Becoming Her || How Criticism Erased my Irrationality

The first time I truly became aware that people can be categorized as logical or illogical was when someone called me "irrational." I was genuinely shocked. All my life, I had been told how intelligent and smart I was. So, imagine my surprise when my friend called me irrational.

But in hindsight, I’m grateful for that moment, it was an eye-opener.

Hello everyone, I’m Mide, and it’s a pleasure to participate in another Sci-Fi Prompt. Below is the link to the prompt in case you’re interested in joining as well 👇

Scifi prompt: Science of Emotions
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Growing up, I understood emotions, especially how, as women, our moods can be dictated by hormones throughout different phases of the month. However, it never crossed my mind that I was allowing emotions to cloud my judgment and decision-making until my friend pointed it out.

That’s one thing I appreciate about criticism. Learning to take it well has brought me an immense level of self-awareness and self-development. While it might be impossible—or should I say difficult—to rid ourselves of all bad habits, the goal is to be better today than we were yesterday. If we stay on the path of growth, we’ll continue improving every day.

After that conversation, I started paying close attention to my actions, and honestly, my friend was right. My decision-making, creativity, approach to situations, everything was heavily influenced by whatever emotion I was feeling at the moment. What’s more, I noticed that it runs in my family. My mom is an extremely emotional person. But before gaining this awareness, I had never seen anything wrong with it.

This realization led me on a self-development journey. It was difficult; really, really difficult. I had to train myself to take control of my emotions rather than let them control me. At times, it felt like I was betraying who I naturally thought I was. For example, I used to let anger or sadness fuel my responses, saying hurtful things or typing out long, emotion-filled messages with no logic. Or worse, making terrible decisions simply because I was overly happy. These were habits I had to unlearn.

However, I am grateful to have found balance, as much as I now have some sort of control over my emotions, such as choosing to remain silent rather than lashing out, not letting my moment of sadness or emptiness get the best of me into making totally wrong decisions. I still make it a note to myself that, "I will not deny myself the simple pleasures of feeling my emotions to the fullest, oh no, I’ll allow myself feel them, embrace them in fact". Just that, they do act as interference with my prefrontal cortex in making important decisions such as financial decisions, career decisions or even some sensitive emotional matters like, “are we going back to the ex or not?”

One of the most crucial steps in becoming more logical is self-awareness. Knowing where your irrationality comes from is key. For me, recognizing that it’s biological helped me understand just how emotional I am. From there, I started reading books on emotional intelligence, even “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene (a dangerous book, I must say, ha-ha). While I don’t apply all the knowledge from it (I’m not trying to subdue anyone, lol), these books helped me envision the kind of woman I want to be. Now, before making an important decision, I ask myself two questions: “What decision would the woman I aspire to be make in this situation?” and “Will this choice bring me closer to becoming her?” If emotions are overwhelming me, I simply delay making a decision until I can think clearly.

For women, though, emotions are an even trickier subject. Biologically, we are more sensitive. Without going into too much detail, we all know about the follicular, ovulation, luteal, and menstrual phases, each bringing its own set of emotions. Self-awareness means understanding how these phases affect you personally. And no, this isn’t an excuse but I still occasionally feel far from logic because of hormonal shifts. For instance, I can’t control the feelings of emptiness and the “I hate my life” thoughts that come with the luteal phase. It just is what it is. But do I let them decide my stance on certain matters or my thought pattern? NO.

And that, my dear friends, is my little rant about emotions, women, and decision-making. What are your thoughts on this?

Thank you for reading! 🧸🧡
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