Coming Cake
My birthday is coming up in a few days and as usual, I am not excited. I feel like I should care a little bit at least - but I just don't. This is the same for many things these days though. But, even though I don't care, I know I will be a bit disappointed if there is nothing to mark the occasion. I know my wife and daughter have planned something though, so that is okay.
Something simple I hope.
Will I be disappointed if it is too simple?
... I don't think so.
It is not one of the big round number birthdays, so there is even less emphasis on it, but I do think it is nice to get some acknowledgement from time to time. I do wish that we were in a better situation financially as a family though, because it kind of feels like any celebration is unnecessary. But I think I only feel that way about any celebration for me - if it was for my wife or daughter, that is different. Without going into it here right now, I feel like I have let my family down a bit, just to be in the situation we are in.
Even though I had no say in it.
That is kind of weird. Though I was talking with the psychotherapist today about various things and she is of the opinion that I need to "mourn" the losses in some way. I asked, "how much loss can be mourned, before life is no longer worth living?" This sounds darker than it should perhaps, and she understands what I meant by it, but we near the end of the session and she didn't have a ready answer, so we can explore that next time. I do find it an interesting question though, because life is like an investment, as it takes resources and energy to live - there must be a point where it makes more sense to cut the losses than stay invested.
Dark?
Maybe. But that is not what I mean by it in this case. I think we should spend time considering these types of situations, because we are going to inevitably face negatives in our lives, and if we have only ever assumed we will only see the sun, we will be in for a nasty surprise. It is better to be prepared, even if the preparation is only considered at the hypothetical level. When push comes to shove in reality, only time will tell what the practical reaction will be.
Overall though, it has been a better week than most as I mentioned, as I had a surprise meeting with a friend, got a little bit more work and today, a new contact reached out to me and I've booked an introduction for us next week to see if there are any possibilities there. My wife is out celebrating a friend's birthday tomorrow night, so Smallsteps and I will have a daddy-daughter evening, and that should be a fun end to the week also.
I am still celebrating the small wins.
A birthday isn't a win.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Advanced happy birthday @tarazkp wish you good health and good times. Meanwhile, my last birthday that I am excited still excited to celebrate is way back 10 years ago, back in my 20's. In my late 20's to present, I barely celebrate my birthday. There is a time of a year that I even forget it.
Wishing you good health. 🤗🥰🥰
Focus on the positive things in life like daddy-daughter evening and the small wins. As they say: "What you focus on expands"
Your birthday is a gentle reminder of the love and resilience that shape your journey. It’s okay to feel quiet about it—life’s quiet moments often hold the deepest meaning. Celebrate the small wins: time with your daughter, new opportunities, and the care your family shows. Financial stress doesn’t dim your worth; you’ve already given them a life rich in presence and connection. Let the day be simple, but let it also be a pause to honour how far you’ve come. You’re not a disappointment; you’re a steady force in their lives. Here’s to small joys, and you—a man who matters, even when the world feels heavy.
May this day bring peace and the certainty that, though silent, your heart is full.
Happy Birthday in a few days! I'm hitting my last year before one of those big round numbers this year. My wife asked me what I want to do next year for the big one and I honestly don't know. I wouldn't mind getting away somewhere, but where... It has to be hard to mourn something like your job when you are still in the same field just not with the same place.
It may not be a victory for you, but it was a great victory for your mother and father a great joy for your grandparents and your whole family the day of your birth should be the most beautiful and special day of the year in which you do what you want and you do not give a peanut what others think because for better or worse you have come to brighten and change many lives a birthday is not to not congratulate but to celebrate that we continue to be blessed with the precious gift of life.
On birthdays: I feel very similar. I try to do my best for the people that I know hold their birthdays as something important. But I think those people should be coherent, and deem everyone's birthday important, not only theirs. So yes, I expect them to think of me in some way, too. If they don't, I know it's not more than an egocentrical issue, and I try not to feed those.
On the dark thoughts: I was confronted with those early on, having chronic diseases in my family and discuss the "When is it too much to bear?" with those when I was around 14 years old, for the first time. Even though I was the only one spared (so far, knocking on wood), I established my own "Limit List" somewhat loose in my mind. I will always try to push further than those limits, endure a little more, surpass my self, but if I can't, I can give up with good conscience.
Thank you for sharing!
Happy early birthday. I think what you're feeling is pretty normal. I'm turning 40 this year and while it's a nice round birthday, I'm trying not to expect much. My family and are planning to be in Alaska on a family vacation. I can relate to what you said - it would be nice to have something to mark the occasion but would it be enough? What would even be enough?
I think you're spot on that life is an investment. As I'm a man of faith, I believe it goes beyond this life though. I don't know where you stand on that, but I believe what we do in pursuing God and spreading the gospel of Jesus is what will last. The other things of this life will all ultimately pass away.
I am not someone who likes to celebrate birthdays. Something should be celebrated once. It should only be when you are born. Celebrating something every year is unnecessary and wasteful in my opinion.
Happy almost birthday. I think birthdays mean different things to different people, your perception of your birthday is valid, but please let your wife and daughter have the pleasure of celebrating a great man in their lives.
Life can sometimes throw us in places we ourselves don't understand, but I think you will get better, things also will improve and years from now when you look back, you would have a story to tell, I hope this becomes your reality.
The more I get older the less I care my birthday. Well, it is just a number, what important is how energetic you fell ;)
By the way, Happy Birthday in advance :)
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Happy birthday to you in advance,your option about birthday celebration is valid. But if your family wants to celebrate you please let them do it the best way they feel they can express how special you are to them. Enjoy your fun time with your daughter 😊
I get what you mean about birthdays and to be honest, I feel the same way. It’s like, you don’t care, but if nothing happens, it kinda stings a little 🤣 I hope your wife and daughter make it special in a simple way. Happy early birthday sir
I think that a birthday is a small loss - we get closer the date of our body's expiration date.😛
That being said I hope that you will have nice celebration.
Happy birthday in advance! Hope you have an enjoyable day regardless!
I find as I grow older I care less about my birthdays, it's just another day tbh, but then I'm not big on celebrations in general. Staying healthy and being with the ones you love is what matters. Anyway, enjoy whatever Mrs Taraz and Smallsteps have planned for you and enjoy your day!
Congratulations!