Monster butt destroyer (223 km mountain-bike ride)
Heeeyho Readers! My butt is off-line.
Every-single-time! There's not a single day without asking myself why. Why do I put myself into such insane situations? Just like the day after a night of heavy drinking in my 20's, when the sunrays hit the eyes and the soul is 'bout to leave the body. Except that I haven't even sipped a drop of alcohol this time. The feeling is the same nonetheless. Am I getting old?
We got back home late. I took a shower, ate a fuck ton of carbs and some protein shake. By the time I'm over, it's nearly 01:00. Nuts! At least for a guy who's used to go to bed at 10:30; body is not used to sleeping late anymore. I certainly feel beaten this time, a lot more than that time we cycled 340 kilometers.
And then we say, "not doing this s**t anymore". Until we do it again. And again. Until we can't de facto do it anymore. Lemme explain what happened.
Over 200 kilometers MTB'ing
The day after riding 340 kilometers, my mates and I decided that rides alike should be a one off experience. Huge lie! It took us a week or more to feel itchy again. This time, the idea consisted of mostly secondary rural roads and a fuck ton of short punchy climbs. Hardcore stuff.
A three-stage route is our plan. Towns of Morro Redondo, Canguçu and Piratini (southern-Brazil) are the targets. The hardest climbs would be right in the beginning. Sounded perfect because we wanted to avoid carrying food in excess (less weight), considering our body needs a lot of carbohydrates to fuel the muscles. That strategy allowed us to carry food for 2-3 hours of riding until we reached the next town.
We started at around 7 am. By 9:30 we'd done all the hardcore climbs (mostly short punchy and eroded trails), so it was time for the first 'big meal' before lunch time at 'bout 12 am. Great! As a white-skiny-butted dude I do need to eat a lot to be able to function, let alone to cycle that much.
There's nothing much to add about the riding per se. Cycle, eat, cycle, eat and so forth. Hydration is also insane. As a rule of thumb, if we need to stop to pee, it's because hydration is fine.
The hardest part for me aren't the endless climbs nor the distance. Keeping the calory intake takes a toll on my guts. It gets to a point where there's not enough space in my belly unless something leaves (if you know what I mean). Yeah, I get constipated and that prevents me from eating enough for the effort. Pro riders say that training the guts is part of the training schedule.. I believe it now.
Once I heard a pro rider talking about his experiences with ultra-distance cycling — I believe it was Lachlan Morton. Anyway, the rider said that we have to discover our limits to know where we stand. We have to drain our energies to such a degree to know how we'll react and to understand how to deal with ourselves. Sounds cliche, but it's true.
What struck me, however, was his reflection on why he put himself on such tenuous challenges. "Because we get only one chance to explore our peak performance."
Not entirely sure if those were the exact words, but what he means is that we are young and strong only once, and for a short period of time. We only get one life. Man, that hits hard.
Since then, whenever someone asks why do I do what I do, the standard answer is: because we get only one chance. As long as I don't kill myself doing something stupid it shall be fine.
The ride
For those Strava geeks out there, a few stats. We cycled for 11 hours and 18 minutes. Elapsed time reached 15 hours and 12 minutes, meaning about 4 hours of rest time, which surprised me when I checked. Total climb reached 2631 meters over 223 kilometers. It was harder than cycling 340 kilometers.
This ride is not even close to high altitude in terms of absolute elevation (we don't even have high passes/mountains here). What breaks one's legs are the several punchy climbs of about 15% incline. It's impossible to stay in Z2 (endurance zone), meaning we burn a match every time we gotta climb. It's really easy to blow the biscuit and bonk if we don't eat enough.
In terms of gradient, the route ended up pretty even: 86,8 kilometers descending, 77 kilometers ascending and 60 kilometers on flat. Average incline 3,4% and max 20,6%. Average VAM 496 m/h... just for comparison, Tadej Pogacar (current Tour de France winner) averages 1800 m/h.
I'm happy with the ride despite feeling drained. Are we gonna do it again? Soon!
Are you riding this weekend? What was your hardest ride? Would you repeat?
Lemme know in the comments.
Peace.
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Disclaimer: The author of this post is a convict broke backpacker, who has travelled more than 10.000 km hitchhiking and more than 5.000 km cycling. Following him may cause severe problems of wanderlust and inquietud. You've been warned.
I'm Arthur. I blog about Adventure Stories, Brazil, Travel, Camping, & Life Experiences.
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That's some impressive numbers for a skinny white-ass like you. 🚵🏼♂️
My white-skinny-butt doesnt like it though 🤣
Wow! That's again an amazing ride you made. I only make a 200+ ride once a year, but I must admit it is a special experience.
It's cool to see how much distance you can cover on a bicycle.
It does take a lot of time.
Well done!
Thank you! It's indeed one huge effort. This time I haven't recovered well for some odd reason; overtraining maybe?
Masoquismo nivel hard jajaja... this is a monstrosity! You must be feeling better in the butt by now, eh? 😂
Butt is all good 🤣
My back hasn't recovered though.. back has been bugged for a while actually, mostly upper back