A Long Travel, A Farewell and A Thought of Life

Qing Ming, or Memorial Day for the Ancestors for the Chinese speaking community, is a significant annual tomb cleaning for the entire family, not only to keep the ancestor’s ground clean, but it is also an opportunity for the elderly to tell the family heritage story to the youngest generation.

It does sound a little like the Passover Story for the Jews or the Hijrah (the great migration) of the Muslims; however, in a more personal and smaller scale.

Though this is still a usual annual get-together family task; this year was slightly different.

Horrid News

One of my dad’s best men, uncle Onn, has suddenly passed away. He had no wife and kids, a strong-willed individual who never had a proper place of his own. All his life his dedication was to teach kids English and first-aid for the Red Crescent (Red Cross for Western countries), and with no siblings and parents passed on for decades, his life is like a rolling weed.

If it was not for a small Christian community who has been trying to reach out to him with providing food aid daily, no one would have noticed he passed on, in a could-be swift but painful way.

It happened a week prior to our travelling back to my parents’ hometown for the Qing Ming festival, when we were told by one of his closest student (later became friends) who took care of his funeral. When the usual Christian friend sent the usual afternoon dessert / early dinner to his rented house, his trusty bicycle was there, but there was no response. He wasn’t picking up the phone.

Feeling worried, the Christian friend called uncle Onn’s closest student who still works as a volunteer in the Red Crescent society. The student rushed over as soon as he can, but it took at least 30 minutes to arrive.

Cracking down the back kitchen door after managed to climb over the fence, in horror they found uncle Onn’s deceased body in the toilet.

According to the autopsy report, the coroner in horror found that his intestines were all tangled up. Not knowing the possible cause.

All along my dad knew about his friend’s hernia condition, and being an elderly of 80 years young and under the operation table’s mercy 3 times my dad had been trying to convince him to go for the hernia ”patching up” procedure because it was noninvasive though requires a lot of rest.

Being a strong-willed freedom loving individual, uncle Onn has been procrastinating such decision because he didn’t want to die on the table – so to speak.

From what we were briefed before for my dad’s Laparoscopic groin hernia repair, this usually happens to a guy and if it is not repaired in its initial stage, the larger the tear, the intestines could “slide out and in” from the tear and will cause entanglement.

That was the only possible explanation from the post mortem report.

Living Life Alone

This actually got me thinking really deeply about life and why the Bible speaks of the importance of Ekklesia (the assembly of the people – of same faith / believes).

Imagine if you are an isolated individual who couldn’t care less of the world, whatever happens to you at the end of your journey, like a blip, you disappear.

If you disappeared in an isolated place, the world could care less; but if you expire in a rented place, that causes inconvenience to those around you if they do not know you; and wouldn’t that be one of the saddest thing to know?

the last photo taken with his students, uncle Onn is the gentleman at the far right

The one good thing about uncle Onn was though he was a free-spirited individual; he had an impact in the neighbourhood and society in where he was. Just 5 days prior to his demise he just attended this very student’s 60th birthday dinner; and if not for the Christian friend who regularly sends afternoon tea / dinner over to his house, his body would have been decayed in the toilet, turning the rented house into a haunted house.

When they found his body, the police noticed his body was still soft, and the time of death was about 4 hours prior to their discovery.

Was shown with the photo how they found his demised body, but I feel it is not honoring him if this photo was shared. It was really sad.

In the end, uncle Onn had a decent funeral service, and all his students who remembered him contributed a small piece of sum to help with the whole process and a place to rest his ashes.

This has truly made me think deeply, as I silently watched my dad grief quietly, and we hope when the traffic is less hectic, I’ll bring him to see his friend one last time for closure.

Note: The funeral photos were sent by his student, with consent to share part of it

This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS). Check out the original version here on actifit.io

Gardening, Photowalking, Shoveling, Stair Climbing