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Up close and personal is an understatement. So is over the top. The first time I saw Marilyn Manson he didn't hold anything back. _src

It's 1994. I saw him perform a second time in 2012 at an MTV award show when the Beastie Boys were inducted to the Rock and Roll Music Hall of Fame. That was a good show. He actually performed songs that time—Marilyn Manson, 2012. 1994, not so much. He put on a helluva show or performance or something else. As far as theatrically catapulting yourself into the spotlight goes, he wrote the book. But that night he didn't sing. Not a single lyric.

I didn't realize until just now it's been nearly 30 years. Weird how when it comes to time, whether it was last week or last month or 30 years ago, some memories fade while others feel like yesterday.

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I'm with Meshelle, super cool chick, we're still close friends. She and I dated between about our senior year of high school until we were 20'ish. We went there to see Danzig. You know who they are, right?

Glen Danzig, originally from The Misfits, a punk rock band he founded in 1979 is lead vocal for Danzig. 15 years later in '94, he's pretty famous. Korn, however, they didn't debut until '93 and Marilyn Manson in '92, both were Danzig's opening acts that night. I'd never heard of either of them.

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The show's at Universal Amphitheater in Universal City, California, a few off-ramps north of Hollywood. As many shows as I've been to, I've still never heard acoustics comparable to Universal Amphitheater. The venue was at Universal Studios where the majority of Hollywood films still are and have been produced since 1912. They tore down the Amphitheater in 2005 and replaced it with a Jurassic Park themed ride.

We walked past the DeLorean car from Back To The Future, a King Kong exposition, Jaws, and all of the other attractions on Universal City Walk en route to the venue. There's street performers, arcades, wax figures and food shops, bars we're too young to get into yet, all kinds of stuff, Universal Studios is massive—over 400 acres. The more we walked, the louder the music got. We'd never heard of either of the opening bands anyway so being a little late didn't bother us.

We reached the Amphitheater. Now the music's echoing, music I'd never heard before. Sounds almost like a death metal with real heavy bass vibrating the venue and they're rapping. Back then security wasn't so intense like it is today with pat-downs and metal detectors. An usher checked our tickets and waved us through.

There's a corridor that runs along the backside of the venue. About every 50 feet is a set of entrance doors identified by letter and number to match the assigned seat on your ticket. We had floor tickets in the front—standing only. Along the walls are pictures and posters of upcoming events and previous events, a bunch of artists we recognize, some we don't. Mostly Danzig posters that night, of course, and some Marilyn Manson ones, first time I'd seen their picture. In each one they're wearing black gothic dresses and veils, they all have real long hair, probably wigs and are wearing lipstick. This is way before dudes wore dresses and lipstick. Also are Korn flyers and posters. I don't remember band members posing on those, they just said Korn with that backwards Я they do.

We go inside and make our way to the stage. Korn is that echoing bass, rap type metal we've been hearing the whole time. By the time we finally made it to the front, their set was finished. They performed first that night. We only caught about 1n1/2 songs. They don't open for anyone anymore. Korn began headlining shows shortly after that and has been ever since. Next: Marilyn Manson.

Security positioned themselves in front as stage hands prepared the stage. The lights are on, it's bright in there. Stage hands are wheeling out drums, wheeling new ones in, switching out guitars, etcetera. 15 or 20 minutes later the lights cut back out and smoke filled the stage. Laser lights and visual screens light up the backdrop, all the special effects you'd expect to see at a concert and out walks Marilyn Manson with his band.

There's four or five members in total, they're each wearing long black dresses like you'd see in a Hollywood funeral scene except for Marilyn Manson himself. He's wearing tight black pants, no shirt, long black hair and about one foot tall platform boots. He's already a tall dude so those boots put him over seven feet tall on a raised stage, he towered over us. They walked out, picked up their instrument and took a position. Each stood at attention facing us - sound checks - distortion - some feedback - count down on drumsticks - 1-2-3-4—Sweet Dreams.

They already had my attention cuz the whole grunge / alternative / gothic scene was just taking off and these guys are grandiose. But when they began playing Sweet Dreams, I'm all eyes, I'm already a fan of the original version and these guys sound way better than the Eurythmics.

They kept playing. Apparently it's the extended instrumental version. Marilyn Manson's standing about 10 feet above us, he's pacing back and forth, staring out into the crowd with his Australian Shepherd looking eyeballs where one's dark and one's albino white.

Several minutes passed and the crowd's getting restless. People are screaming, more and more join in, it's getting tense. Finally he grabs the mic. All the screams shift to cheer and, in his computer generated sounding, Marvel-like growling voice:

Who wants to see my cock!

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He's not talking about a rooster. I'm glad I was off to the side and not directly in front of him. Again, at the top of his lungs, WHO WANTS TO SEE MY COCK! People are pretty irritated now, they're booing, yelling, the boo's are getting louder, WHO WANTS TO SEE MY COCK! Now people are throwing plastic bottles and whatever else at him. This goes on another minute or two, the band's still playing Sweet Dreams, all the smoke and lasers and visuals in full effect.

He unzipped his pants and dropped them to his ankles. Now he's an abnormally tall, mixed eyeball having, butt naked guy with bright red lipstick in the spotlight with his dick out.

That's nothing.

He grabs hold of himself and starts pissing on the crowd. Everyone directly in front of him scattered immediately like a buncha pissed off people getting pissed on. Security is trying to maintain peace while bottles and garbage and whatever they could get their hands on made its way through the air to the stage. He's still pissing. Band's still playing.

He walked over to the drums, pants still around his ankles and picked up a fifth of Jack Daniels, twists off the top and downs the whole bottle without taking a breath—chugged the whole thing. Now he's naked guy with an empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. They're still playing.

He starts beating the stage with it, trying to break the bottle but he's having a tough time, those bottles are thick. He must've swung it 10 times before it finally broke. Now he's holding a weapon.

That's nothing.

He stabs himself in the stomach with it. I have no idea what I'm seeing anymore, shock factor is at an all time high, nothing I saw quite registered until some time after the show. I remember thinking it was staged, 'no way this dude's stabbing himself.'

He starts carving the thing into his stomach. He's twisting it and turning it, digging the bottle in deeper and toward his chest. Whether or not it's staged I'm still unsure at that point but there's blood all over him now. Blood's running down his stomach, down his balls and legs, it's dripping on the stage. If it isn't real it's a helluva performance.

He fell over, dropped the bottle next to him and curled up in a fetal position while the band kept playing. Within seconds a couple of medics run on stage to him. They signal for the stretcher. In rushes more medics and EMT's with a stretcher, they get him strapped in and rush him offstage. Shortly after, the band stopped playing Sweet Dreams, set their guitars and drumsticks down and left the stage.

While security and the whole audience, myself included are in disbelief and have no idea what in the actual fuck just happened, bright lights filled the Amphitheater. Stage hands mopped up all the blood and got ready for Danzig—wheeled out the drums, wheeled new ones in, replaced Marilyn Manson's guitars for Danzig's and out go the lights again.

When they came out, Glen Danzig grabbed the mic and, before he said thank you or welcome, thanks for coming out or are you ready or anything like that, he pointed in the direction they carried Marilyn Manson off and said "what the fuck was that?!"

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Danzig put on a good show, great mosh pits too. They're the only reason we went anyway but all I really remember are the mosh pits. Good music, we had a good time but I can't tell you what songs they played other than Mother. That was the only time I saw them. I've seen Korn I'm not sure how many times now, they never disappoint. Marilyn Manson, like it was yesterday.

I told all my buddies about it the next day, it's a tough one to believe. The one about some dude none of us heard of who pissed on the crowd and carved his stomach with a busted Jack Daniels bottle until they carted him off the stage. I'm still not 100% certain what I saw. I think it was real, probably. Maybe. He did go on to do some acting too, though, so maybe it was all part of his act.

But if it was, then that means the very next CD they released was part of the act too. If it wasn't real, he never stopped performing. The following year in '95, they released Smells Like Children and there's Marilyn Manson with his shirt off on the back of the CD case, his stomach's all carved up.

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