9/17/22
Still feeling pretty damn depressed. Really low just in general. I feel so crappy. Just been sleeping and sleeping. I've got some interviews lined up meanwhile my ID expires in 13 days. I'm such a loser LOL. Wow.
Two jobs seem like they'd be a good fit. The one job is super close to my hometown and ran be a really nice guy that helps in the community a lot. Sort of like a mini celebrity-ish.
I miss my son so much, I'm such a bum father man. There's some things I won't even say here on Hive.
Yeah. I realized I have been depressed for fifty percent of my life. I try not to pity myself, hate myself, give myself excuses, poor me, poor me. Oh the tragedy of my unfair life yadayadayada.
If I can't pay rent, well, I don't think they will instantly kick me out. Shady part is living here I had zero paperwork or proof of the 'deal' or whatever. It was totally under the table. Amazing.
I might try to see my family today. For this party. Maybe that will be a good thing. I'm so selfish lmao.
Depression is a from of selfishness, right? That's what makes me feel more depressed and shitty as a human. Idk. Hive on folks.
You have all of my sympathy. As an Empath I get to struggle with being depressed even when I'm not. I can tell you it's not being selfish though. It's just a long and complicated road you have to carefully negotiate. When things are dark inside I look for light outside.
Thank you very much.