Just writing about things on my mind

I’ve been putting off writing and sharing stuff other than my music for quite some time. If you follow me, you’ll know that a big part of my life is organ playing and creating content with it. However, as much as it’s a joy for me it can also be a source of pain and stress. I don’t literally mean that what I do causes me physical harm, but rather it seems that as passionate as I am and constantly trying to be better seems to lead to disappointment. I believe as human beings that we all have some desire, or some form, to be loved and to be loved for what we do. Of course, I know there are certain people in my life that do care, and perhaps I’m focusing on the people that don’t see how much I’m sacrificing and laying out on the table. I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes I wish others would care for me as much as I do for them. Is that selfish? Perhaps it’s just my personality? Maybe because I’m feeling like my mental health tank is empty, I try to fill it up by being overly busy or taking on things I wouldn’t usually do just to avoid how I really feel. I realise this is quite cryptic but disseminating it on Hive feels like I’ve made some baby steps (I wouldn’t dare do it on any other “social media”). I’m totally aware about looking after one’s mental health and the mental health of others and this for me is a form of self care. This will seem like rambling about nothing but writing this has made me feel just a little bit better. Thanks for reading if you got this far. My chin’s up…tomorrow will be a new day.
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