You Need to Calm Down
Those were the words I uttered to my wife at some point this weekend. Little did I know that I was going to be the one that really needed to hear them. First of, in the likely long list of things you should never say to your wife, "You Need to Calm Down" probably ranks pretty high up there.
I knew it as soon as the words finished coming out of my mouth. Thankfully, @mrsbozz isn't the sort to hold my stupidity against me, so we continued our day in regular fashion with little to no repercussions.
It wasn't until early this morning that things came full circle.
I've been suffering from what I guess you could classify as "nocturnal panic attacks" for a little over 10 years now. In my life I've maybe had at most twenty of them in that time. It's actually a bit hard to measure, because you never know when or why they are going to happen.
The first time you have one though, it's something you don't ever forget. I seriously thought I was having a heart attack. I was in a hotel room down in Ohio and like the rest of them it happened in the middle of the night.
The rapid heart rate is what gets me the most. I can just heat it and feel it pounding in my head. It's so fast you think there is now way it can keep up and something has to burst. Sweating, shortness of breath, plus a couple other symptoms, it's kind of easy to think that you might be having a heart attack.
I tried tracking it for a while each time it would happen so I could see if there was some kind of connection or trigger. Sadly, it doesn't seem there is. Stress and bad dreams are the most common causes from what I can read.
I followed the typical male path and tried to ignore it for a while. I mean, I'd sometimes go a year without having one, so it was kind of easy to forget. Eventually I did mention it to my doctor and that's when she told me it was probably a panic attack and she didn't seem too concerned about it.
I have a new doctor now, and there is a good chance I will mention it again next time I go in. I'm almost wondering if I am suffering from sleep apnea and that is triggering it. I can't think of anything more stressful than stopping breathing while you are sleeping! What do I know though, I am not a doctor.
The sad part is, as bad as the panic attack is, the aftermath is almost as bad. It literally drains all your energy. I was supposed to work out this morning but @mrsbozz suggested I skip after I let her know I had another attack.
It was a smart move, but not working out tends to screw up my day and routine a bit, so what started as an already off kilter day, got even more out of whack by messing up my schedule. I'm sitting at my work desk now and I am still feeling the effects. I'm just tired and everything feels a bit out of focus.
The other thing I never would of guessed is how much you have to pee after you have one. It's like every five minutes. No lie.
The funny thing is, as usual, I can't really pinpoint what may have triggered it. Besides the ongoing issues we have had with Jovi, the only thing that is stressing me out right now is my treadmill.
They were supposed to deliver it last Thursday, but things got messed up and now they have to deliver it today. They can't give me an exact time except sometime between 9 and 5. I let them know that I work a half hour away from where I live, so I need some lead time to get there before the delivery guy does.
That means I am basically on call today and need to be ready at the drop of a hat to rush home and try to get this 300 pound device moved into my house. It seems silly that could be the thing causing me so much trouble, but it's the only thing that really comes to mind.
I feel like there was a time that something like this might have been frowned upon to talk about in public like this. I've never really been the sort to keep things to myself though. Plus, it's not something I'm causing or doing to myself, it's something that's happening to me for some unknown reason. Why should I be ashamed about that?
I've gotta tell you though, my heart goes out to people who have panic attacks more frequently and/or during the day. It's no joke at all.
Who knows, maybe my new doctor will say it is something else entirely.
Have you ever had a panic attack? What do you remember most about it? Do you get them a lot? I'd love to hear your comments!
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That sounds stressful. I know I have some weird dreams, but nothing like that. It seems that our brains process various thoughts when we sleep and it can come out jumbled. Maybe yours gets triggered by combinations of experiences that may be hard to predict.
I hope the treadmill gets sorted soon. We get so much stuff delivered these days, but it can be a hassle when you need to be there when it comes. We're at home some days, so that helps.
Yeah, I am sure they are probably going to need me to sign, plus it's going to be big, so I don't really want to leave it on the porch. It's possible I was having a bad dream too, I don't really remember. I know that has triggered it a couple of times in the past. Sometimes it's when I wake up suddenly, other times it just happens. I don't really know.
Sorry about the attack. I can imagine how scary it is coupled with the fact that it can be draining after such attack. Currently, I usually feel my heart beat very fast and hard and sometimes it gets me scared but it happens to me whenever there is something bothering me and it scares me a lot.
Thanks, I appreciate that!
I feel for you man! I'm 37 now and have been having major problems with anxiety and panic attacks since I was 19. I also tried to ignore it but that eventually lead to a couple of very serious attacks a few years back during covid lockdown.
Initially it was the same as yours in that it happened during the night with the same symptoms, however a couple of days after that I had one during the day that lasted around 14 hours. It was at least a week before I felt better after that one. The belief that you may be having a heart attack is the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced!
Following that period I eventually decided to get help and talked to my doctor for the first time in about 16 years. They starting me off with medication, which helped a lot in the short term. The real success I've had came when I decided to start therapy though. I had to wait a few months for an NHS therapist to become available as they have had a huge influx of people seeking therapy in the aftermath of the pandemic but eventually I got to the top the waiting list.
In short, it really helped me to understand what was going on with my body when these attacks were occurring and as I result I've had much more success in preventing them.
Wow, I can't even imagine. I was thinking it was bad that the attack was lasting close to an hour. 14 hours is just nuts. It's funny because I'm probably what you would consider a middle class average American. It's a little embarrassing to believe my "first world problems" could be enough to be triggering a "fight or flight" response in my body. I'm glad you got some help and that you are able to manage it better now. I will definitely be talking to my doctor about it when I go in again. I'd be interested how you prevent the ones at night because I am seriously in a dead sleep, then boom. I wouldn't even know how to prevent that!
I still have the occasional one that wakes me up but it's how I respond to it that has changed. At the point where I recognise the symptoms so well that I can lower my heart rate much quicker and get my breath back because I recognise the pattern the attacks take. Once you get rid of that uncertainty and fear you should be able to reduce that initial adrenaline flood, that's how it's worked for me anyway.
I've really found that doing yoga has helped in the past couple of weeks since I started being consistent with it. Getting rid of aches and pains in my body has helped my mind become much more calm and not misinterpret symptoms so easily. The breath control during tough uncomfortable poses has really helped with the sleep aspect as well as anything else I'm doing.
Worth pointing out that I'm a severe example of an anxiety disorder so it's almost easier for me to make gains. One thing I'd think about other than that is your caffeine intake as that's often an easy adjustment to make. Wish you the best of luck man! Being proactive and talking about it is a great idea for men though, well played!
Thanks, I appreciate the tips! My wife is a school social worker, so I know all about that deep belly breathing! I tried that last night, but I guess I didn't try hard enough. I need to work on that! I had caffeine the night before, but not last night, so that is kind of weird. My wife had wondered before if caffeine intake had something to do with it. Thanks again for sharing your experience!
I am sorry about your attacks. Like you've stated, it is nothing easy. No joke, and the first feeling never leaves your mind.
I once felt that last year when I was extremely sick. Like, I can't even bend because my heart beat changes, and it hurts. Felt like there was a needle piercing it if I moved. It was suffocating and very frustrating.
I hope you get better soon.
Wow, that sounds horrible. I am sorry you had to go through that. Thanks for the well wishes!
Yes, it sure was. I am thankful that I am a bit better now. You are welcome 😁
Hello, I am very sorry for what you are going through. Actually, sometimes something similar happens to me at night, I start to feel my heart beating as if it were going to go out, I start to despair because I want to calm down, and I can't, and I start to feel afraid that I might have an attack or something like that.
It has already happened to me several times, and it is almost always at night, when I go to sleep. Lately, when I have had these heartbeats, I told myself that it will not overpower me, so I start taking deep breaths and I start to let the air out little by little, until I can control my breathing. I start singing a song in my mind or out loud and believe me it's hard to remember a verse, but I try over and over again until I get it right. Or sometimes I get up and start watching something funny on the PC or TV, something to distract my mind and not listen to my heartbeat. These techniques have worked for me and I know that I have to go to a doctor to get checked or tell me why I have these sudden attacks, but the truth is that I don't like doctors and just thinking about it makes me more stressed, but at some point I will have to go.
Yeah, sounds a bit like you have white coat syndrome! My wife has that too. She doesn't like going to the doctor at all. I try to not move around as much as possible because I don't want to wake her up. I feel like I should maybe take my blood pressure when one is happening, but I haven't done that yet. It's a horrible feeling!
Wow I really sounds like a bad night when ever you have one of those attacks, I hope you feel better now and get to overcome them I have never had one that can describe it as the ones you had, its surprising how our days go out of balance and if we think about it is because the way we feel about things, if we look at it from a more cold point of view we shouldnt but thats just the way we most humans are, I also get my days off balance when my early routine changes, actually it had happen for the last 4 days in a row and that got me piss off all weekend that it sux but it is what it is, keep on trucking ✌️
Yeah, that's all you can do is put one foot in front of the other! It's crazy because I might have another one yet this week and then I won't have one again for months. You just never know.
It must be a very strong experience, I am not sure if I have presented any. Once I only suffered from something very strange at night before sleeping when I heard a news. I felt really bad, I couldn't breathe, and I also felt like my heart was beating fast, I was sweating cold.
I tried to calm down, but, it was strange, it didn't depend on me.
It has happened to me that the tension shoots up, I thought it was that.
Fortunately, it hasn't happened to me again. I'm just trying to take things more calmly, I'm afraid that it will happen again because as you say it feels like a cardiac arrest.
It's an awful feeling. I hope you can find the cause and fix it.
Yeah, definitely sounds like a bit of a panic attack to me. I think what bugs me the most is just how long it takes to recover from it. It's been close to five hours now and I still feel funny.
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Yes, mention it to your new doctor. Panic attacks are nothing to dismiss. I don't want to add to your worry: but my uncle died of one. He was in his early 60s, so not young but also not old. His wife found him dead in the morning. The doctor (or whatever we call the person who does the autopsy) said his heart burnt out, likely from a panic attack at night, or even more likely from a series of them that had weakened his heart so this last one took him over the edge. He was otherwise perfectly healthy. A marathon runner and baseball player.
I've never had one. But I do know friends who have had panic attacks, so I have some idea of what they experience. One friend had a panic attack on an airplane. That wasn't a good experience for anyone.
Anyway, please do mention it to your new doctor and see if you can work with him to track the cause. If you think sleep apnea may be a likely trigger, that is something to also mention to the doctor.
Good luck getting it under control!
Oh wow, thanks, I will definitely be sure to mention it now. I've still got a lot of time ahead of me I hope. I want to stay on top of those sorts of things!
Something that I understand all to well my friend. I get those several times a week and some in the day as well. Ever since some medical issues came up with my heart I wake up with an elevated heart rate a couple times a week, usually with a panic attack. It really sucks...
They can give you pills to sedate you when you have one, problem is if you work in the morning they make you really groggy. If it's two in the morning I tend to take a shot of vodka or two, calms you down fast and gets me back to sleep and come six in the morning I'm good to go. This is just what I do, and not recommended by any doctor and isn't medical advice! If it happens at four or five that definitely won't work though...
I feel for you, hopefully the treadmill will be easy to put together. Just try to keep that stress down the best you can.
!DHEDGE
Oh wow, I guess I am pretty lucky that I only get them as infrequently as I do. I can't even imagine a couple times a week! I do have a bottle of Costco vodka in the cupboard! Well, the guy finally called, but he was standing at my door when he did it. They were supposed to give me half an hour to get there. He dropped it in front of the garage and left. Luckily I brought @iikrypticsii to help me move it downstairs. 300 pounds is heavier than you would think!
Pretty damn heavy, glad you had some help! They always promise a window but in my experience they show when they feel they it.
Yep, that's basically it!
sorry to hear about the panic attacks. some vitamin deficiency also can cause these kind of health issues. Practicing yoga and breathing techniques may help.
Thanks for the tip, I will have to look into that. I take some vitamins each day, but maybe they aren't the right ones.
I sincerely sympathize with what you're going through. Like you, I deal with nocturnal disturbances, although in my case they are very occasional night terrors. I'm not sure if it's similar to your panic attacks, but it's truly terrifying.
In my experience, these episodes usually occur after particularly stressful periods, marked by changes and a tendency to overeat. Overeating seems to be a trigger in my case.
What makes night terrors particularly frightening is the very intense sensation of presences or visions during these episodes. It's a really frightening and destabilizing experience.
Thankfully mine aren't like that. I think I would freak out a bit too much if that were the case. I don't need any visions in my bedroom! I'm sorry that you are dealing with that. It's interesting to find that more people deal with this sort of thing than I would have guessed.
Yes, it's true that I'm also amazed at the number of people who have to deal with it. I don't know if it's more than before or if it's just that more and more people are speaking out about it.
I hope it's the latter, otherwise the former would mean there's a societal problem 😉
There is still a stigma about this sort of thing. People don't want to be viewed as weak or broken. I think it's probably a combination of the two though.
I know how powerful, pesky, and unpredictable anxiety can be and I'm sorry you're experiencing it. A friend of mine has been telling me about Earthing/Grounding for years and swears by it. We recently bought a grounding mat for our bed, it's supposed to help with a variety of conditions, anxiety being one of them. I'll let you know how it works when we get it.
Awesome, I look forward to hearing about that. I've never been opposed to walking around in my bare feet, but it's kind of hard during the winter as you know! :)
Oh yes! That's one reason we're going with the grounding pad for the bed. : )
It’s something someone close to me once had .
I pray for a speedy recovery for you
Thanks, I appreciate that!
Greetings friends @bozz your reflections are quite poignant but very well known, it is necessary to keep calm as the title says. It seems like this kind of happens to people but many are self-conscious about expressing it. Very good reflections.
Thank you!
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That’s really strange and would scare the living shit out of me. I’m by no means a doctor. But it feels weird to me that they aren’t that concerned. Anytime your heart works that hard can’t be good.
Hope it goes away for you.
I know right. You go in the hospital with heart burn and as soon as you mention a pain in your chest, they have you hooked up to everything!
My experience about this kind of situation is you know the feeling that your sad nor happy and including other emotions you'll feel
Yeah, when one is happening all I can think about is fear. It feels like your heart is going to beat out of your chest and that is scary!
Oh I don't think I've ever had a panic attack. Maybe when I drank too much coffee one time, I dunno. Sounds like something a doctor should really be able to pinpoint. Hope everything works out fine with your new doctor.
I did experience sleep paralysis/nightmare once. That was the worst. Ugh. And it's quite different from panic attacks but still weird when we experience such health issues.
Thanks, I appreciate it. Apparently, according to some it isn't really a life threatening condition, but it sure feels like it when it is happening!
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