My Actifit Report Card: May 22 2024
I fucked up. Not big, but I gave in - I spent $0.99 for $5 SC (sweepstakes coins/basically casino). It was so easy to justify - it's only a dollar and I got back 5x, what a fuckin deal. But I shouldn't have. I know I need to be stronger and I was for a while, but I cracked. I've seen multiple "deals" for SC and I've said ahhh not today! But for whatever reason, I was able to convince myself that this 99 fuckin cent was ok. Shortly after, I was on a poker site - they have all sorts of buy this shit buy that shit get all sorts of bonus shit sort of shit, and I almost gave in. Whenever I give in to one site, I'm so much quicker to give in again, but not this time. I was sooo close though - I was reading the terms and conditions to see when I could withdraw. Totally fair thing to do, but not for a gambling addict. I was trying to justify if I spend $30, get $60 in total coins/bonuses and could withdraw quick, then it'd be worth it. But that's the addiction talking - I shouldn't spend shit on gambling and I know that. I want to make money from the daily log in bonuses and be one of the few people who is actually strong enough to do so. But today I wasn't. I'll do better. I promise.
This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS). Check out the original version here on actifit.io
I'm gonna go ahead and continue my thoughts - if I don't, I'm scared I'll lose them 😂
It's absolutely amazing how strong a gambling addiction can be. I feel I struggle so much, but have been beyond fortunate. I followed promoguy on Twitter, did nothing but his bets and grew. I took advantage of sign-up offers to guarantee a profit and kept growing. Everything changed when I hit a big bet to basically fund my addiction for a few years. A $5 4-leg parlay, all first baskets. It paid around 20k on Draftkings (they auto withheld taxes/immediate tax form/etc). But that money fueled so much opportunity - I bought my 6.5 Grendel, suppressor, gun safe, and pulled money for bills multiple times. We weren't over the top, but we lived extra comfy knowing that I had 'fun money' to fall back on. We fell back on that money for years and it was an absolute blessing, but I also used some of that money for gambling. It's so easy to justify depositing $10 when I can withdraw $100 from a sportsbook, but the fun money dwindled so I didn't have as much to justify playing casinos.
Anyways, depositing and spinning a slot hits me like a fuckin addy. It perks me up and I hyper fixate on nothing but gambling and can carry over to the next morning. Between the fun money shrinking and my mental health, I know I needed a major break. I want gambling to be fun again where I don't have that immediate, irrational impulse. I want my fun money to grow from responsible,+ev betting and I wanna win 'free money' from these social casinos just from collecting the daily log in. I'm going to. I've committed more than ever.
Instead of gambling after this post, I'm going to write. I started writing down some possible standup jokes, but of course have never done any sort of stand up. I've always felt I was a decent writer, but I know that doesn't necessarily translate to comedy. Either way, it's better than spinning the slots. 100 underscore underscore
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