The Hilarious Side of Age Forgery
Consider this post my version of Rush Hour's funny bloopers displayed during credit. It doesn't add anything to the series it came after, which you can check by clicking on part 1, part 2, and part 3. This post is just done as a mindless fun post for these seeking laughter or just something light that happened, happens, and will probably continue to happen in the world of football. So, without further ado, let's get into the hilarious side of age forgery in the world of football.
Victor Emenayo
In 2015, Shahdagh Qusar FK in Azerbaijan saw a man offering to play for them. The man said he was 23 years old. Victor Emenayo was a Nigerian attacker you might have saw some news about him after his club discovered that he wasn't 23 years old, but actually was, drums roll, 40 years old.
Yakubu Ayegbeni
He's only 25, albeit a Nigerian 25, and so if that is his age he's still got a good few years ahead of him.
Those were the words of current West Ham United manager, David Moyes, back when he was still the coach of Everton in 2005 when talking about Yakubu Ayegbeni. Moyes got a lot of sticks for what he said and was accused of racism even by many papers. It would have been worse for the Scottish manager had Yakubu's career not declined within a year as the player was showing signs of ageing despite being in his "mid-20s"
Philippe Troussier
For those who were around during the 1990s, the name of the French coach might be recognized. Philippe Troussier isn't another example of someone faking his age, however, he is a witness to one of the funniest instances of age forgery.
Back in 1999 and during the FIFA World Youth Championship in Nigeria. Philippe Troussier came out in the public and swore that he saw one of Nigeria's U-17 squad players leaving the stadium with his wife and kids, yeah that's, not kid, kids, plural.
Constant Ejections
One of the hilarious things I constantly read while researching this topic is how often many U-17 squads would have almost their entire squad ejected when the hosting tournament announces it would do MRI testing for players' ages. Ghana, Nigeria and many more countries would eject 15 players, another time they'd eject 18 players. It should be noted that only 24 players are called to these tournaments. The most hilarious one is of course the one I shared in the second part of the series where Cameroon ejected 32 players. That's right, Cameroon ejected more players than places in the squad.
The Super Eagles
This is the moment where I ruin the memories of people born in the 1980s.
Partizan Belgrade former president Zarko Zecevic said that Taribo West, the legendary Nigerian defender who played for Inter and AC Milan, joined their club claiming to be 28 while in fact was 40. Those claims weren't investigated because Zecevic said them after West had long retired. If those claims are true, then West played for the Nigerian Olympic team in 1996, he was 34 years.
After Nigeria's exit from Africa's Cup of Nations in 2010, a former coach of a top Nigerian club who refused to share his name said that the main reason behind Nigeria's exit from the tournament was because many players were much older than they claimed that they couldn't keep up with countries like Zambia and Benin, physically.
Nigeria's first team doctor and Ken Anugweje, and board member of the Nigerian Football Federation.
Our boys are old, we are paying the price for age cheating
The funny thing about that is realizing the people saying these things. A former first-team doctor and a top club coach.
Here's a quick summary of the speculated real ages of certain players. Jay-Jay Okocha is actually ten years older than his claimed age. Obafemi Martins is actually seven years older than his claimed age. The latter's case makes sense as he was doing well at Inter since his actual age was the mid-20s and his decline started when he was actually in his 30s. Also, legendary Nigerian forward, Nwankwo Kanu, wasn't really 32 when Nigeria was knocked out by Zambia, but actually 41.
The illusion of such legendary myths created by these players' accomplishments is astonishing. Some Nigerian bloggers told The Guardian that you could virtually become a completely different person on paper by paying 7000-10000 Naira. To put this in context, on Nigerian Naira is worth 0.0022 US Dollars. So it would cost around 23 dollars to have been a completely different person on paper.
Most players would put together the money and go change their names by maybe adding an extra O or U at the end or in the middle of their names. Maybe add a Baba or Junior here or there and of course change the birth date.
Arguing With A Dead Man
This is probably the most hilarious part I have read when researching this topic.
According to the Guardian report referenced above, a former employee of the British embassy in Nigeria would often have to deal with many angry Nigerians when their Visa applications would get rejected. When things reach a dead end he would often respond
Well don't talk to me about it, I'm dead
And when the people would look baffled, he would then point to a framed certificate on his office wall. The certificate is one he obtained during his time in Lagos from a local supplier. The certificate was a death certificate. This example, I believe, is the perfect summary of this entire saga.